Kapiche ?

If you do not know the meaning of the the title, don't panic ! You're simply a dumb, ignorant mortal like me, only one with more salary. Ignorant people can read and write without any adherence to the general directions of short, to-the-point writing and to the acceptable quantities of beer by a human body. They go where no man has ever gone before; how many women have gone there is a question for different time and space. Such questions should be addressed in the year when Saturn is in the 6th house with Venus, prompting the Sun to say 'they surely must be partying while I burn my ass off'.
If you think that life, in general, sucks and then you find people telling you that this is just a phase; you would also agree that such people suck. When you're lying in a pit full of poo 20 feet below the earth's surface, the last thing you want to hear is someone say 'you'll get over it'. Sympathetic people are a menace to the society and should be whipped with cream, bare-naked, till the point of reverse-excretion is reached and they no longer need a free lunch. Aww ! I hope they get over it. Ofcourse, you could also save all this cream and feed it to Sharapova to have your own version of Sharapatra; a hybrid, not between Maria and Cleopatra, but between Maria and Mr. Patra who lives two blocks away and looks ready to eat the two blocks as well incase he doesn't find the pastry shop open.
The AB annual meet planning is finally underway; for people who do not know what AB stands for can click here . Ofcourse, it is a circle where there will first be planning done for when and where, and then 3-4 others shall plan and veto the place, while 2 others shall do background checks and find that they have never spent their entire day of 24th december on the pot drinking hot-choclate and would like to do it this year, and so the dates for the meet should be rescheduled. Finally, it would be decided by 5-5 majority (1 member against all democratic processes, including bombing any country) that there must be a planning team to decide on all matters relating to the meet. Then there shall be elections for the head of this team, and atleast 4 people shall plan on how to win: which essentially means deciding what constitutes a better bribe - Chivas Regal or Glenfiddich. After team-formation, and the traditional 'Hail our leader, he spoilt our liver' chants, the planning team gets down to the business of deciding whether their posts should be made permanent. Discussion continues, there is a coup attempt, everyone is disgusted and until one of them throws a booze party for no reason and everyone travels to his house. This is how AB annual meet would presumably take place if things go naturally.
Laughter is the best medicine, atleast until they invented condoms (hey, which one protects you from AIDS?). So you would assume that stand-up comedians would have a healthy life. However, I am sure if I tried stand-up comedy it would be considerably shortened to the point when even a perfectly sober and docile housewife would learn to use a shotgun. So I don't do comedy shows, which has prompted many of my friends to switch to 'Whose line is it anyway'. Now that is a joke of a twisted kind.... No?....Yes? - Kapiche?