The apping saga - written in IIT on Jan 29, 2003

The Apping Saga

Come penultimate semester and you find hordes of people attending classes and listening intently to the theory of Zisbrowliscunus as taught by someone who looks the same and you doubt your belief that final year is not to do and die. Then you find these hordes sitting hours in front of the computer switching pages between good quality babas(desi is good) and abodes of higher education present right from States to Timbucktoo; ofcourse there are always a few people(as Mr. Murali M Joshi put it or something to this effect) who will have to wait before they can learn to use the internet.
Though not into this business myself, I have seen many friends wasting their time trying to complete their assignments when they should have been playing Counter-Strike. Men should be men, or atleast they should look like men and go to the gym. Not that I say the apping process is just for men, but where we study we dont find anything but men and trees.
The requirements for applying abroad resemble the demands of the tribals who usually give out the war cry 'cholbe na'. There are forms and recos and SOPs and blah blah and each work is tougher than using the toilets in coaches of Indian Railways. The funniest part is the student-guide interaction where both know what lies beneath :
Guide : Have you read the research paper I asked you to read ?
Student : goo goo !! gee gee !! hee hee hee !!
Guide : Why haven't you been attending my classes ?
Student : goo goo !! gee gee !! hee hee hee !!
Guide : If you continue this way, I shall have to fail you.
Student : bohoo !! bohoo !! wah ! Sir, I would like your recommendation for applying abroad..
Guide : goo goo !! gee gee !! hee hee hee !!
The SOPs are a good example of the world our great leaders dreamt of before they died writing about it. " I am a self respecting, honest and hard working individual and have been involved in the field of signal processing using neural networks and advanced hyperterminal of fourth degree since my childhood ". Ofcourse this is a replica of the bold statements made by the seniors passed out, but unless you are Gautam Pande you cannot carry this shit around with dignity ; no self-respecting man can.
And finally when you finish your journey apping, there is the long silent wait where guys behave like Vietnami Pigs. Vietnami Pigs are those animals who look like complete morons after they've finished applying to universities abroad. And then everyone starts hating Zisbrowliscunus just as much as I do.